That tree will get you pregnant
That tree will get you pregnant
False teachings can influence behavior, so we need sound doctrine to cultivate a life of godliness.
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I attended a lectureship for work this last week at a university I had never been to. I couldn’t help but compare everything to my alma mater, taking it all in and contrasting the college life as I saw it with all the movie clichés I knew well. Curiously, perhaps because I was young , lots of people asked me where things were located—but I didn’t know anything!
But my coworker had attended there for his undergraduate degree many years ago and had frequented the campus many times since then. He was much more familiar with it than I was. So, on the first night there, he gave me a tour in the dark. The campus was still abuzz with people despite the late hour, and it was lit with lamps. Like a ghost tour, he began to tell me about the mythologies and legends surrounding the various landmarks of the school.
There were the white bench swings where the rhyme was “three swings and a ring” to denote that three swings with someone would tie you into holy matrimony. Then we walked a few more paces to an old bell tower, a path cut under it flanked by arches. He told me that if you walked under it alone, you would be single forever. If you walked under it with someone else, you would marry them.
(Apparently, he had walked under it with several ladies at once! And no, he’s not a polygamist—or so he claims.)
As you might have surmised, given the obsession with marriage, this was on a conservative Christian college campus!
But things only got stranger. Not far from the bell tower was a great big tree, its trunk bulbous and bulging like it had eaten too much on Christmas. He pointed to this tree and told me, with a straight face, “If you touch this tree, you’ll become pregnant.”
At this point, I couldn’t take it anymore. We had barely walked through this quad, and it seemed EVERYTHING was an important landmark with a story about making marriages or making babies. I wondered if my friend and coworker was pulling my leg because honestly, this is the exact sort of thing I would do!
(I was also thinking of a time during a trip to Hungary when a missionary pointed to a large ornate building, at least the size of the White House. He told the group it was an elementary school. We all cooed and marveled. Then he admitted he was joking!)
I questioned the credibility of my coworker to his face. It just seemed unrealistic that, within such a small radius, all these ancient objects were said to have such prophetic power—especially in a cessationist school!
Being an extrovert, my friend took the challenge in a way I absolutely would not have. I blushed in the dark as he marched across the grass and up to two female students on one of the swings. Begrudgingly, I followed suit but kept my distance to hide the embarrassment of my introverted self while he accosted strangers.
He apologized for butting in and asked, “What happens if you walk under the bell tower?”
One of them piped up, not even pausing to think. “If you walk under it by yourself, you will be single forever. If you walk under it with someone else, you will get married.”
“What about that tree over there?”
“If you touch the tree, you will become pregnant.”
I’m still not convinced they weren’t paid actresses to bolster his ruse… But if they weren’t, then clearly orientation week must include stories about how to get married or get pregnant on campus! (Conveniently, at a Christian university, the method to get pregnant apparently doesn’t involve sex. St. Augustine would have loved that!)
Reflecting on these stories got me thinking about the wild legends and myths we all take for granted and how they impact our behavior. Some, like these college campus stories, are relatively harmless (if you don’t take them too seriously). Other tales… are much more destructive.
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For good reason, the New Testament spends ample time denouncing false teachers and advocating for sound doctrine. It’s too simplistic to always divide it like this, but some scholars note how Paul seems to mostly spend the first part of his letters talking about theology—things we should believe about God—and the latter part discussing practical strategies for living that out. Truly, beliefs matter. Wrong beliefs can cause chaos.
In the pastoral epistle, 1 Timothy, Paul addresses some of the false teachings that seem to be happening around Timothy’s station in Ephesus.
Paul describes in the first chapter that he left Timothy “so that you may instruct certain people not to teach false doctrine or to pay attention to myths and endless genealogies” (1 Timothy 3-4a). Though the content of those myths and genealogies is frustratingly vague, he goes on to note, “These promote empty speculations rather than God’s plan, which operates by faith.”
If we analyze 1 and 2 Timothy, look a bit at Ephesians, and assume some of the same kinds of problems we know about in other letters are happening here, we can deduce some things about the false teaching in this church. It seems to prioritize “special knowledge” and has a very “creative” reading of the Old Testament that supports this. They appear to be a bit legalistic with some extra rules being forced on people. And the false teachings apparently are coming from inside the house(church).
Paul is so frustrated by these views that thrpughut the letter he uses vivid language to illustrate the absurdity of the mysterious tenets of the falsehood, saying it departs from the faith and is from demons (4:1-2).
After refute a piece of the false teaching, he turns to Timothy (and by extension the whole church), encouraging him to point out falsehoods.
“If you point these things out to the brothers and sisters, you will be a good servant of Christ Jesus, nourished by the words of the faith and the good teaching that you have followed. But have nothing to do with pointless and silly myths. Rather, train yourself in godliness. For the training of the body has limited benefit, but godliness is beneficial in every way, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. This saying is trustworthy and deserves full acceptance. For this reason, we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe.”
-1 Timothy 4:6-10
There’s something else that should occupy our time instead of speculation, special knowledge, and a long list of rules. Instead, we should train in godliness. This godliness—literally, being like God—is demonstrated in our behavior. It offers benefits for our life on earth and a promise of a resurrected life down the road. Our time should be spent on THAT rather than the craziness the false teachers got wrapped up in.
Later, Paul tells Timothy how to make sure he doesn’t become a false teacher:
“Don’t let anyone despise your youth, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity. …Practice these things; be committed to them, so that your progress may be evident to all. Pay close attention to your life and your teaching; persevere in these things, for in doing this you will save both yourself and your hearers.”
-1 Timothy 4:12, 15-6
Paul’s move here does something really important. It reminds us that good teaching and good behavior go hand in hand, especially in countering what false ideas are doing. What ultimately makes false teachings so dangerous is that they change our conduct—they affect how we live out godliness in a godless world! So Timothy is called to live in this way to save himself and his hearers from the falsehoods.
The whole book offers conduct as a counter to false teaching. Paul says to live a quiet life in godliness (1 Tim. 2:2), instructs men and women not to draw attention to themselves (1 Tim. 2:8-15), advocates for respectable overseers and deacons with good reputations (1 Tim. 3:1-13), suggests helping widows who did good works and are truly in need (1 Tim. 5:3-16), and honors elders who are good leaders (1 Tim. 5:17).
In other words, we must be godly! We must be above reproach. The world is watching, and they must see that the true teachings of Christ also impact our behaviors.
Correct doctrine absolutely does matter because incorrect doctrine leads to bad behaviors.
As Jesus says,
“Be on your guard against false prophets who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravaging wolves. You’ll recognize them by their fruit. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes or figs from thistles? In the same way, every good tree produces good fruit, but a bad tree produces bad fruit. A good tree can’t produce bad fruit; neither can a bad tree produce good fruit. Every tree that doesn’t produce good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So you’ll recognize them by their fruit.”
-Matthew 7:15-20
Galatians 5:22-23 is a handy list if you need to remember what good fruit looks like.
Paul’s letter to Timothy emphasizes Jesus’ very point that faith in God necessarily involves observable conduct. The false teachers appeared to be driving people away, or misunderstanding core aspects of faith that bleed out into our conduct. Our mission is at stake here!
Head and heart, knowledge and action, thoughts and behavior, doctrine and duty. While the false teachers may have treated these as dualities, that is not the way of Christ. Both are intricately linked and inseparable. Our conduct demonstrates the very credibility of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
The world is watching our fruits. The more we allow bad conduct and dishonorable behavior to go unchecked in the Church, the less likely they are to believe in the saving power of Jesus. We as human disciples of Christ are often the first testimony to Christ that people have—are we acting as a “correct” testimony? But we likewise must be diligent that our doctrine is sound—because that may very well be what’s leading to the bad conduct.
We need to be vigilant on both fronts.
There are always going to be silly stories that we tell. Who knows, maybe that tree will get you pregnant. That story has little bearing on my conduct, however (though, just in case, I didn’t touch the tree!). Yet the stories we tell in the Church—through theology, doctrine, creeds, preaching, statements of faith, songs, and prayers—those really do have a bearing. If they aren’t producing good fruit, then it’s time to examine if they are really from Christ at all. This is so we can not only have a more truthful faith in God but also be more truthful witnesses with our godliness.
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In speculation,
Jake Doberenz
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