REVIEW: "Daring Greatly" by Brené Brown

Shame disconnects us while vulnerability connects us to a whole world of possibilities.

“Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead” by Brené Brown has been another fantastic read that everyone and their mom and their cousin’s dog should read.

Brown talks about how being vulnerable is essential to whole-hearted living and to being fully human. Without it, we miss out on so much. We don’t lead as well, we don’t parent as well, and we don’t do romantic relationships well. Luckily, being vulnerable is mostly on us and doesn’t depend on others. We have control.

“Vulnerability is the core of all emotions and feelings. To feel is to be vulnerable. To believe vulnerability is weakness is to believe that feeling is weakness. To foreclose on our emotional life out of a fear that the costs will be too high is to walk away from the very thing that gives purpose and meaning to living.”

The opposite of being vulnerable is shame, which I’m convinced is just about the most destructive force in our world right now. Shame says “I’m Bad” while guilt says “What I did was Bad.” Shame, at its core, removes us from others—it’s a strategy that disengages us. Shameful people miss out on the breadth of human experience.

“Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.”

Shame comes from our trauma, often thanks to our childhoods. It comes from the false stories we tell about ourselves. The only cure is being vulnerable.

“Unfortunately, there is no “get out of vulnerability free” card. We can’t opt out of the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure that’s woven through our daily experiences. Life is vulnerable.”

10/10 recommended read if you have any desire to be a functional human.